7 Stages

(Please take your time to read this. -Isaac Camacho)
Stage One: Stranger's

I did not know this girl, she came to me at in instant one day at the dinning hall. It was me Eating, right when I look up There she is walking in... Stunning... Beautiful. Like an angel a star of some kind shinning... Glowing. There it was the first thing recognized, Her smile was just so bright. She was laughing with her friends, inside I was smiling... Inside I was happy. I did not know this girl for she was just a stranger, a girl I dream of... Who knows how things will end up. All I knew is I wanted to talk to her and maybe one day she would be my Girlfriend. Yeah Friends told me good luck... I didn't think she would ever be mine... I felt I was shooting high, she was "Out Of my League". There was times where my eyes caught hers, I turned quick as if I was looking at something else. "There is no way I would ever be with her" I thought To myself.
First day of class as im sitting... just on my laptop waiting for class to start. She walks in, my eyes open as I see the same smile and girl that I saw in the dinning hall. Impossible I thought, There is no way out of all the students this girl would be in my damn class... But she was... and there I sat thinking... I might have a chance.
Thats when stage 2 hit...

Stage Two: The Chase
So there it was... My chance to actually chase for a relationship. I never talked and I never sat by her for a week. I would keep myself distant, as I gathered information on how I was going to accomplish such a insane task. When Possible, I would look and give a smile... I was happy enough to get a smile back. I would hold the door open for her... doing just about all the nice things a gentleman would do. One day I got to class early and sat in the place she would, Took out my computer and turned in my work. It happened so quick... A voice... It was her voice... in my head I didn't know what to do. It was her she was saying something to me... I fucking choked. "Is this seat taken" she said pointing at the seat by mine. Go ahead I said... Why didn't I say anything more. We sat together and I soon thought of asking her something, But the teacher made us all move to our racial Spot. We broke off in separate directions. "now she thinks i'm a total asshole" I thought. Couple days later I walk in to a class before she is leaving. We talked... But I fudged it up again. I said Derp and told her what it stands for with my friends... yeah alright she looked at me like I was stupid or Childlike. "great Now I really fucked it up, you were right Isaac she was way outta your league anyways"
This is where it gets interesting... I told my friends about it and they were like you are in a hole mister... good luck digging yourself outta that one. Yeah I thought it too. I was wakling back to the dinning hall to get dinner and there she was eating with her friend and this weird guy... like weird... I mean he is chill but social awkward. I could tell she didn't want him there sitting with them but it was hard to say no to him I guess. I manned up and was like fuck it im in college. I turned and walked towards her... She was happy to see me, she wanted an excuse to stop talking to this other guy. What else than to talk class related stuff. We talked about the readings and if she was going to do the HW. She didn't have the packet and I did. I offered to lend it to her. Guess what? I got her number... she even plugged it in my phone. Send me a text later. I looked and it was her name... Her beautiful and unique name, Not only was it her name but it had a smile face after it too... Just like this :) I was the happiest man ever. I was digging myself out of the hole. When I took her the packet with my friends... BTW we were going out clubbing. I asked her if she wanted to come... She said she really wants to but had no money. "ill spot you" I said. She came we got ready and left to the club. This was it my time to shine... We danced a little, I wanted to see if she was comfortable with dancing... she was... So I danced more and was a little close too. Well lets just say it was a really hot and we were both dancing pretty close. The way we danced was as if we were playing star roles in the dirty dancing havana nights movie. It was so romantic and Hot! There was times where I felt it was only us... only us dancing alone... together, Just her and I. It was over the dance I walked her all the way to her dorm. She asked if I wanted to watch a movie... The princess and the Frog. I did, That night we got to know each other a lot, about our past and more of who we are. That night we kissed... crazy... but it happened, I won't forget it either.
We hung out a lot, she came over, I went over it was if we were going out but without the title. It wasn't till December 11th where I asked her out... We actually went to visit her family And there we were laying... Cuddling on the couch... Then I asked... There it was... She said yes.

Stage Three: The HoneyMoon
We would do everything together, took trips to Washington... Had sleep overs... watched a ton of movies. Cooked dinner together. Visited my family and her family a ton. Had romantic little dinners. Took her out places. Everything was great... This girl was my dream... The girl I never thought I could get was mine. We kissed... Cuddled <3 It felt so long that this happened... as we grew together in a relationship I started to like her more and more everyday. Love... What a strong word... I didn't want to use it... I didn't want to say it. My past girlfriend fucked me over bad and love was evil... to me it did not exist. I let my past girlfriend so far in my life... It gave me chills to think about love. "I Love you" She said first... I didn't reply... but only explained why I did not say it back. Days turned to weeks then finally I let it out and said I love you too one day. And soon enough we were comfortable with each other. Stage Four: Comfortable We were super chill with each other, even had some paper to ask each other questions to make our relationship stronger... Yes we did have some tiny arguments and At the end we would make up and say it was for a stupid reason... usually we tried to communicate it through... to understand each other. Listening was a priority I guess, Its good in a relationship. It was a good comfortable though... we laughed... cracked each others back... told jokes... and stupid stories and all. There wasn't really a time where our tolerance was bad. I mean we were still considered the perfect cute couple. Stage Five: Tolerance We skipped this stage we were still mad in Love with each other... And I saw it going a long time, so did she... we talked about something a normal couple would... Like House color or room stuff... you know? about the future and all. we kissed and loved... went out for dinner and still had good times. Stage Six: Downhill This one hit so fast... I thought I was dreaming. I really don't know what to say but she stopped talking to me really she needed her own time she said. I let her be by herself. I let her go see her friends. I let her go out to her party without me. I did it all in hopes for her to come back and tell me what was going on. Yeah I wanted what was best for her like anyone else would. Yes we argued... and Yes I didn't approve of her going out to parties with people I didn't really know... I got to know her friends... They were amazing... took care of people lets just say... I then trusted them with her. Thats all I needed to be fine with it. I mean I don't think I was controlling... well my friends said I wasn't and neither did my family. They said this down hill came unexpectedly... maybe a misunderstanding. But soon it happend... Stage Seven: Breaking Up We basically skipped Stage 5 and half of 7. I let her be herself for about a week. we didn't talk really. I wanted her to get unstressed out with school and have friend time... i wanted things to get better so I let her be alone like she asked. One morning she texted me saying if she could come over after class. I opened the Door she was cold a little. I gave her a hug and kissed her. "I miss you" I said I saw her picking her things up she left... then I knew. "Can we talk" Yeah sure i said... She did it... She broke up with me. I didn't know what to say. This girl I just kissed and hugged just broke up with me... It hurt. It hurt a lot. why? Because I loved this girl... I really did like this girl. But now we are not together. Months have passed by and my feelings for this girl haven't changed... why would they? She still an amazing girl, still has that beautiful glimmering smile when I first saw her... Still gives those amazing hugs... I cry as I write this... and I try to cover it up. I just don't understand really. I really Don't but I guess sometimes its like that and you cant do nothing about it but let her go, That is because you love her so much it hurts to be away... It hurts that she is no longer there... you think after 2 fucking months I should be better... which I am... Im no longer thinking of suicide... that is stupid. I want to live my life. I would live it with her or without her. Im just saying she has not changed so why would my feelings change. My ex girlfriend Changed on me. She was not the girl I first met. My other one I currently miss is still who she once was. Maybe it was me who changed... maybe I was not her type. So much maybe. Sometimes I think if she was just lying to me about how much she cared... I don't think when she said I love you she was lying Or when she kissed me it was fake. We both knew what we had. So what do you say to a broken up relationship that didn't make all seven stages...? Who knows? People ask me a lot if I think Ill end up back in a relationship with her. You know what id say is if it was my choice I would. Its not my choice though, its hers. I still have feelings for her, I still care about her. Maybe one day who knows... Nobody can tell the future. If anything I fucked up someway or another... maybe one day she will let me know what I did so in the future I could better myself... so something like that does not happen again. Or maybe we get back together and go off where we left off. There is just so much things that could happen now. What I always thought the reason why she broke up with me... That actually made sense, was that she was super stressed and having a bad time trying to figure out her life and stuff. That she was unstable to have a boyfriend at the time. The words that are stuck in my head... Planted in my brain though the memory of her words.... "its over" she said... I said "like over over?".... "yes over Forever" she said.... Forever is stuck.. Planted in my head. Who knows if I would ever be in Love again... Maybe this one just fucked it up for real. Before this relationship I almost gave up on love... but it came back... there was still hope... but now Who knows... I know its there... well for some people. My parents happen to be one of those couples... 25+ years married.... I've always wanted to have something like that... Who knows though what will happen in the future... Im done controlling my life though.

Thanks if you read it all.
-Isaac Camacho