9 Days

(sorry I dont Got pictures)
As I said, I would post an update on the 9th day of the break up. Mainly because my mother said it takes that long for a Heart to heal after a break up. Im going to say right now... I am not yet fully cured. I can understand though what my mother is trying to say. I am not crying anymore, I know now we aren't getting back together.

I was born in corvallis, this past weekend I went back. I had to work for Cinco de Mayo, but I also needed corvallis because portland after the breakup felt distance. Nothing... I mean Nothing was the same anymore without her. Everything Changed. Its so weird to say my Ex Girlfriend... Like oh my Ex Girlfriend was a bitch... wait I mean my Ex Ex Girlfriend. Im just not used to it yet. Anyways I went out with friends and stuff to hangout around town, But it wasn't the same without her... Obviously though... Anyone could see that coming. At the end of the week Its just missing her ya know? Typical breakup feeling though.

So... We talked, Just want to clear up for everybody... now that I know (people have been asking why we broke up). She though I was controlling her, like I wanted to change her, change who she was born to be...(Lady Gaga - Born this way) ha little joke. Well I guess I tried to change her, I think she didn't like that... I mean who would like somebody that was trying to change them. Makes you feel like they dont like you for who you are... know what I mean?

I said sorry already for trying to change her, I stopped doing it at the end I guess... But that shit sticks forever. I suppose all I wanted was for her to do great in life, She was stressed a lot. Yes, I did tell her to not to procrastinate, and yes I wasn't the biggest fan of her messy room (That is because i got a bad infection in high school from some serious bed bugs, ever since i've taken a shower before bed and cleaning my sheets often). Yes, I didn't like the fact she went out to parties and did some other things, I guess I just didn't want her waking up and feeling like shit and not wanting to do nothing the rest of the day. Its her life and I fucked up for trying to control that, I fucked up for trying to change who she was, I should have left her to procrastinate, I should of not told her to clean her room, I shouldn't have said anything. I guess when you love some one so much, you want whats best for them, I just though thats what caused her stressed. Trying to help I only made it worse. Im so so so so sorry that I hurt her like that, it makes a nice guy fucking crumble, hit rock bottum when he heres that. Jerk, Mean, Fool, that hurts. I hate when people call me that, but this one I deserve which sucks. I didn't know I was being mean.

Well its over now. She's been doing way better without me too, which I am happy. Getting all her work done, staying on top of things... I got to say i'm Proud of her. She's a strong girl. As long as she's on top of her game, she's not stressed, and I see her smile, laugh and be happy. Im fine with that, more than fine actually. I care about everybody, I dont believe in the word hate. Live Laugh and Love.

Anyways... Keep you guys posted, Thanks for taking the time to read my blog =D

p.s.
Next blog will be about what I have left.
-Isaac Camacho Castillo