Pain Part 2

I feel it... My heart pounding throughout my body. I can see my shirt lift up at every pulse. I can feel the Blood Flowing threw my veins. I have suffered, I feel discomfort as I sleep. This week was a challenge. It sucks not talking to you. I had class with you, I sat at the far end... Alone. No more sitting by you, no more handing you Notes... No more seeing that beautiful face of yours turning around, looking into my eyes as you smile. You will never reach for my hand again, hold my finger. That day was painful, painful it was. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think, I couldn't speak... My heart was pulsing in my throat. I left class to take a couple hits from my inhaler. Why me?

My family, and Friends didn't see the break up coming, I guess I didn't either. It hurts when they ask about what happened, I just wish it never did, or wish Time was fast forward to where things were better. My dad asked about you as soon as I got home, He never asks about my Girlfriends, never. He asked about you, and asked why I hadn't' brought you. Is she back home in Washington? How is she doing? He asked. In reply I said no she is in portland, and she is fine. I was happy because he asked, sad because it was no longer present. I am slowly healing from this pain, Slowly. I've had more dreams about you in the past week than in the whole time we knew each other.

I want everybody to know My Ex is an amazing girl, and was the best girlfriend i've had in my entire life. She was so Spectacular, truly gods master piece. Her smile was powerful. Her Dorky-ness was adorable. How could I not want to be with a girl like that. She is smart, she really is... that is if she puts her mind to it. Everything seemed so percy perfect between us. You know ha that cute couple you randomly see walking holding hands laughing, as you say... Awwww, What a cute couple. I can go on and on about the fun things between us. She isn't evil for leaving me, she had her own reasons. I can't really remember why she left me. Cousin asked me why? all I can remember was because she was stressed and she couldn't be in a relationship right now. You would expect it to be something like, I dont like you no more... Or I fell for another guy... But no It was Im stressed and I can't be in a relationship right now.
I didn't want to fight for our relationship again... I gave in. I just said whatever. Even though I didn't want that. Why would I want to break up with somebody I truly loved? This part is just saying your not evil, its not your fault for doing this. My family does not hate you, my friends do not hate you, they just don't like seeing me in pain, as anybody wouldn't want to see there loved ones in pain.

I had a dream, you were with another guy having fun. I couldn't wake up, I tried so hard, but I couldn't. It hurts to know you will be with another guy, I feel to know you will dance with another guy, kiss another guy, etc with another guy. I Feel pain Knowing it wont be me anymore. It says to forget and start talking to other girls. Its painful even looking at girls, hard for me to talk. It not the same, its not your voice. I just don't feel your presence. It was your choice, sometimes to love someone you got to let them go. I let you go, so you can see what it feels to be single. Im glad your happy to be single, Im happy theres guys already talking to you. Single? What? "I just am :)"
When you find that next guy, he better treat you ten times better than I did. I want him to say Goodnight every night, cuddle you extra hard. Hold you, make you laugh. Kiss you, in a way you Enjoy. I want him to be the one. I want him to hold you when your sad, help you through the hard times. I want him to love you for who you are, I want him to be dorky with you, and not make fun of you. I want him to be your perfect. I want him to be what I could never be with you. I want him to take you around the world... Go to Europe. I want you to enjoy the views as you hold him to your side. If he is not what you asks for, and he treats you wrong. He better not get close to me. If he hurts you, breaks your heart... He will get it... You deserve only good. As long as you are happy I am happy too. I still care about you a lot. I don't think ill change my opinion of you. I dont hate you, why would I hate you when you did nothing wrong. I thought the break up would be easier if I had something to hate... I had nothing, Because with you and I, I felt like... like... IDK.... I felt like I could control time. Im glad I got to meet you. You are a wonderful Lady. Thanks for everything.

P.S.

I wouldn't have never started reading Harry Potter if it weren't for you. You pushed me, and now I am doing it on my own :) there is so much more things I can say thanks for.
So much things we didn't get to do... maybe one day we can do them... as friends.
Thanks for letting me meet a wonderful family... Im so chill with your bro, your sis is a dancer! (which is awesome) Your mom Is practically a cool mom! Your dad is just a great guy. Davis... what a character... and cutter... well that dog... he needs love too ha.
Pain is easing off slowly, it gets a little better everyday... then you figure out after a lot of days you got a lot of a little.

P.S.S.

That would be great if we got Starbucks tomorrow before UNI. We may not be together but these silent sprees have got to stop.
Well
XOxOooXXxOo
(Big Hug, Big Kiss, Little Hug, Big Kiss, Little Kiss, Little Kiss, Big hug, Big hug, Little Hug, Big Kiss, Little kiss)