Monday, May 2, 2011
Pain Part 1
Its hard to sleep, waking up to your smell. Your hair left on my sheets. It Hurts that you are not there anymore to stand by me. It hurts to know you left me. Pain is hard to accept, but its there in my heart as of right now. How Do you rid of pain? I have never Felt this before. Anything that reminds me of us hurts me. Yesterday I showered, with the Lights off. I saw the Stars and began to cry. Pain is there, pain is everywhere. Four hours of sleep on the first day, Dreams all fucked up. Waking up you are not there, you are gone. I hurt, I hurt, Deep deep inside. I feel like grabbing a knife to help me remove the pain to happy I want to divide. No more Cooking, no more cuddling, its gone... But this is for the best. Pain is weakness Leaving the body. They can only hurt you if you let them, I gave her my all, I gave her my Love. I gave Her my life. I was nice, I tried to help. Pain is there. I see the pictures, of you having fun. Looking great like always... That was once mine, for now its gone. Tears, Tears falling on the keyboard. Rippling down my check. I struggle to keep you off my mind... but I have to, for its the only way pain will vanish. I write of this because I write pain... Pain thats in me... for I type pain... for one day it will leave me.
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just gotta keep ya head up buddy. one day at a time :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a "friend" named Grief. He comes to visit from time to time, and in some peoples lives, often. I am very well acquainted with him. I learned to open the door, invite him in (otherwise he breaks the f-ing door open anyway) and welcome him to stay and tell him he has to leave after a reasonable time because I have things to do. Some people sweep him under the carpet, which is a very rude thing to do to a guest, and he gets you back for it in spades. Smart people cry, and write, as you did. That's what I do, too. Many people I know make a living by doing that, too! Just sayin..
ReplyDeleteLove you, son.